Flame response form
Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 8:49 pm
>
> FLAME RESPONSE FORM
> ---------------------------
> If you are part of any public listervs - which are public discussion
> group - you are all too aware of the craziness of being part of
> such as group: Threads (Continuing Discussions) which last a lifetime,
> insanely boorish comments and the all too common trite replies
> "I agree"
>
> Well there is now a standard reply form for FLAMING
> (listed under the government e-mail paperwork reduction act)
> For those unfamiliar with the term, flaming is the immediate
> and often irrational response to emails that annoy you.
> They can be sent to individual on public listervs -
> where people mouth off their opinions.
>
> PS. If you are new to the web, read carefully to avoid
> being flamed yourself.
>
> Dear:
>
> [ ] sir [ ] clueless one [ ] twit [ ] great man on campus
> [ ] madam [ ] dweeb [ ] twerp [ ] comrade
> [ ] Elvis [ ] moon beam [ ] boor [ ] Babe
> [ ] Geek [ ] Boob [ ] Communist
> [ ] Republican [ ] Democrat [ ] Liberal [ ] Conservative
> [ ] Other ( )
>
> You are being gently flamed because.
>
> --------------------
> GENERAL
> --------------------
> [ ] you SCREAMED! (used all caps)
> [ ] you posted the inanely stupid 'Make Money Fast' article
> [ ] you posted the inanely stupid '$250 Cookie Recipe' article
> [ ] you posted an inanely stupid magic weight-loss article
> [ ] you posted an inanely stupid cheap s**t at high prices article
> [ ] you posted an inanely stupid 'Fix Your Credit' article
> [ ] you posted an inanely stupid "Good Time Virus" warning.
> [ ] you repeatedly have shown lack of humor
> [ ] you have a SIG with more than 4 lines of ASCII graphics
> [ ] you assumed that AOL/CIS/Prodigy founded the Internet
> [ ] you assumed that the Internet is a U.S. only phenomenon
> [ ] Repeatedly requested info on where to find XXX stuff.
> [ ] Repeatedly harassed people with androgynous names like Chris, Jamie, or
> Rajhatmalhaban, with "Are you a girl?" or "M/F?" questions.
>
> --------------------
> FOR LISTERVS (Open discussion Groups)
> --------------------
> [ ] you sent a please remove me from the list message to the
> list rather than the list-sever
> [ ] you continued a boring useless stupid thread
> [ ] you repeatedly posted to the same thread that you just posted to
> [ ] you repeatedly initiated incoherent, flaky, and mindless threads
> [ ] you posted a piece riddled with profanities
> [ ] you advocated Net censorship
> [ ] you repeatedly assumed unwarranted moral or intellectual superiority
> [ ] you are under the misapprehension that this group is your preserve
> [ ] you are apparently under compulsion to post to every thread
> [ ] you are posting an anonymous attack
> [ ] you responded to an obvious troll
> [ ] you posted an obvious troll
>
> [ ] you neglected to do research on the chosen subject
> [ ] you asked a question that was covered in the available FAQ
> [ ] you redundantly covered the same point over and over
> [ ] you crossposted excessively
> [ ] you used long lines, i.e. you didn't break up your lines after
> 60-70 characters, thereby making it hard to quote your post.
> [ ] You posted a request to send business/get well cards to a little boy
>with
> cancer who is trying to break the guiness book record.
> [ ] Over 90% of your post was quoted from a previous post.
> [ ] Over 90% of your post was quoted from a previous post and your addition
> was "I agree" or "Me too."
> [ ] Barged into a quiet little newsgroup/IRC channel/MUD/whatever and
> started stinking up the place just because you read an article about
> the newsgroup/IRC channel/MUD/whatever in some magazine or hads seen it
> on TV etc....
>
>
> [ ] you discussed the following in a non-nutcase newsgroup;
> [ ] hollow earth theory [ ] alien President theory
> [ ] orbital mind control frisbees [ ] faith healing
> [ ] government weather control [ ] Russian psychics
> [ ] Squeaky Fromme [ ] the nation of France
> [ ] robot spy bees [ ] sexually promiscuous space
>aliens
> [ ] "Manos, the Hands of Fate" [ ] Beavis & Butthead anything
> [ ] flat earth theory [ ] government consipiracy theory
> [ ] the veracity of any X-Files plot (see all of the above)
> [ ] Other:
>
> [ ] you considered the following to be reliable reference sources;
> [ ] Golden Books' "Exploring Science", printed 1955
> [ ] Any program covered by Talk Soup or [ ] SNL News
> [ ] Oliver Stone [ ] Hard Copy [ ] Inside Edition
> [ ] The National Enquirer [ ] The Sun [ ] NY Post
> [ ] The Union Leader [ ] Pravda [ ] OMNI Magazine
> [ ] Company Marketing Hype [ ] Microsoft [ ] The Simpsons
> [ ] An unidentified, but obviously stupid, person or publication
> [ ] Other:
>
> In the future, you may wish to;
>
> [ ] do not delete the "welcome to the list" message you recieved
> when you joined
> [ ] allow boring and useless threads to die
> [ ] remember that not all newsreaders are threaded
> [ ] recall that there are academic and commercial users on the net
> [ ] remember that the Internet is multinational
> [ ] consider that others may know more about certain subjects than you
> [ ] exercise some humility
> [ ] be careful of where you are crossposting to
> [ ] 'lurk' without posting for a few days to learn the forum of a group
> [ ] get used to being mocked
> [ ] stop volunteering for Armed Forces pharmaceutical experiments
>
> I would like like to suggest that, for the common good, you;
>
> [ ] wait at least two hours before responding to another post
> [ ] read the FAQ (frequently asked questions) list for the group
> [ ] learn to use the 'kill' command to eliminate erroneous posts
> [ ] post only to alt.dev.null
> [ ] selectively respond to threads after reading all new messages in
> that thread
> [ ] voluntarily apologize in a brief post
> [ ] no longer contribute to this newsgroup/mailing list
> [ ] no longer contribute to any newsgroup/mailing list
> [ ] no longer contribute to the gene pool
> [ ] look into the possibility of medication for the above problems
> [ ] familiarize yourself with the history of the Internet
> [ ] familiarize yourself with the concept of:
> [ ] patience [ ] tolerance [ ] caution
> [ ] common courtesy [ ] succinctness
> [ ] vocabulary [ ] higher brain functions
> [ ] Other:
> [ ] Re-install what ever failed mental operating system
> you are currently running on
>
> Please save this message and review it occasionally to determine
> your progress toward being;
>
> [ ] a useful member of Internet society
> [ ] a less annoying member of Internet society
> [ ] a human being
> [ ] a fully-functional human being
> [ ] a tolerable poster
> [ ] integrated into humanity
> [ ] re-integrated into the wild
> [ ] Other:
>
> Thank you for taking the time to read this form flame.
> FLAME RESPONSE FORM
> ---------------------------
> If you are part of any public listervs - which are public discussion
> group - you are all too aware of the craziness of being part of
> such as group: Threads (Continuing Discussions) which last a lifetime,
> insanely boorish comments and the all too common trite replies
> "I agree"
>
> Well there is now a standard reply form for FLAMING
> (listed under the government e-mail paperwork reduction act)
> For those unfamiliar with the term, flaming is the immediate
> and often irrational response to emails that annoy you.
> They can be sent to individual on public listervs -
> where people mouth off their opinions.
>
> PS. If you are new to the web, read carefully to avoid
> being flamed yourself.
>
> Dear:
>
> [ ] sir [ ] clueless one [ ] twit [ ] great man on campus
> [ ] madam [ ] dweeb [ ] twerp [ ] comrade
> [ ] Elvis [ ] moon beam [ ] boor [ ] Babe
> [ ] Geek [ ] Boob [ ] Communist
> [ ] Republican [ ] Democrat [ ] Liberal [ ] Conservative
> [ ] Other ( )
>
> You are being gently flamed because.
>
> --------------------
> GENERAL
> --------------------
> [ ] you SCREAMED! (used all caps)
> [ ] you posted the inanely stupid 'Make Money Fast' article
> [ ] you posted the inanely stupid '$250 Cookie Recipe' article
> [ ] you posted an inanely stupid magic weight-loss article
> [ ] you posted an inanely stupid cheap s**t at high prices article
> [ ] you posted an inanely stupid 'Fix Your Credit' article
> [ ] you posted an inanely stupid "Good Time Virus" warning.
> [ ] you repeatedly have shown lack of humor
> [ ] you have a SIG with more than 4 lines of ASCII graphics
> [ ] you assumed that AOL/CIS/Prodigy founded the Internet
> [ ] you assumed that the Internet is a U.S. only phenomenon
> [ ] Repeatedly requested info on where to find XXX stuff.
> [ ] Repeatedly harassed people with androgynous names like Chris, Jamie, or
> Rajhatmalhaban, with "Are you a girl?" or "M/F?" questions.
>
> --------------------
> FOR LISTERVS (Open discussion Groups)
> --------------------
> [ ] you sent a please remove me from the list message to the
> list rather than the list-sever
> [ ] you continued a boring useless stupid thread
> [ ] you repeatedly posted to the same thread that you just posted to
> [ ] you repeatedly initiated incoherent, flaky, and mindless threads
> [ ] you posted a piece riddled with profanities
> [ ] you advocated Net censorship
> [ ] you repeatedly assumed unwarranted moral or intellectual superiority
> [ ] you are under the misapprehension that this group is your preserve
> [ ] you are apparently under compulsion to post to every thread
> [ ] you are posting an anonymous attack
> [ ] you responded to an obvious troll
> [ ] you posted an obvious troll
>
> [ ] you neglected to do research on the chosen subject
> [ ] you asked a question that was covered in the available FAQ
> [ ] you redundantly covered the same point over and over
> [ ] you crossposted excessively
> [ ] you used long lines, i.e. you didn't break up your lines after
> 60-70 characters, thereby making it hard to quote your post.
> [ ] You posted a request to send business/get well cards to a little boy
>with
> cancer who is trying to break the guiness book record.
> [ ] Over 90% of your post was quoted from a previous post.
> [ ] Over 90% of your post was quoted from a previous post and your addition
> was "I agree" or "Me too."
> [ ] Barged into a quiet little newsgroup/IRC channel/MUD/whatever and
> started stinking up the place just because you read an article about
> the newsgroup/IRC channel/MUD/whatever in some magazine or hads seen it
> on TV etc....
>
>
> [ ] you discussed the following in a non-nutcase newsgroup;
> [ ] hollow earth theory [ ] alien President theory
> [ ] orbital mind control frisbees [ ] faith healing
> [ ] government weather control [ ] Russian psychics
> [ ] Squeaky Fromme [ ] the nation of France
> [ ] robot spy bees [ ] sexually promiscuous space
>aliens
> [ ] "Manos, the Hands of Fate" [ ] Beavis & Butthead anything
> [ ] flat earth theory [ ] government consipiracy theory
> [ ] the veracity of any X-Files plot (see all of the above)
> [ ] Other:
>
> [ ] you considered the following to be reliable reference sources;
> [ ] Golden Books' "Exploring Science", printed 1955
> [ ] Any program covered by Talk Soup or [ ] SNL News
> [ ] Oliver Stone [ ] Hard Copy [ ] Inside Edition
> [ ] The National Enquirer [ ] The Sun [ ] NY Post
> [ ] The Union Leader [ ] Pravda [ ] OMNI Magazine
> [ ] Company Marketing Hype [ ] Microsoft [ ] The Simpsons
> [ ] An unidentified, but obviously stupid, person or publication
> [ ] Other:
>
> In the future, you may wish to;
>
> [ ] do not delete the "welcome to the list" message you recieved
> when you joined
> [ ] allow boring and useless threads to die
> [ ] remember that not all newsreaders are threaded
> [ ] recall that there are academic and commercial users on the net
> [ ] remember that the Internet is multinational
> [ ] consider that others may know more about certain subjects than you
> [ ] exercise some humility
> [ ] be careful of where you are crossposting to
> [ ] 'lurk' without posting for a few days to learn the forum of a group
> [ ] get used to being mocked
> [ ] stop volunteering for Armed Forces pharmaceutical experiments
>
> I would like like to suggest that, for the common good, you;
>
> [ ] wait at least two hours before responding to another post
> [ ] read the FAQ (frequently asked questions) list for the group
> [ ] learn to use the 'kill' command to eliminate erroneous posts
> [ ] post only to alt.dev.null
> [ ] selectively respond to threads after reading all new messages in
> that thread
> [ ] voluntarily apologize in a brief post
> [ ] no longer contribute to this newsgroup/mailing list
> [ ] no longer contribute to any newsgroup/mailing list
> [ ] no longer contribute to the gene pool
> [ ] look into the possibility of medication for the above problems
> [ ] familiarize yourself with the history of the Internet
> [ ] familiarize yourself with the concept of:
> [ ] patience [ ] tolerance [ ] caution
> [ ] common courtesy [ ] succinctness
> [ ] vocabulary [ ] higher brain functions
> [ ] Other:
> [ ] Re-install what ever failed mental operating system
> you are currently running on
>
> Please save this message and review it occasionally to determine
> your progress toward being;
>
> [ ] a useful member of Internet society
> [ ] a less annoying member of Internet society
> [ ] a human being
> [ ] a fully-functional human being
> [ ] a tolerable poster
> [ ] integrated into humanity
> [ ] re-integrated into the wild
> [ ] Other:
>
> Thank you for taking the time to read this form flame.
